A blog about Katy Perry.

There are certain bands you love to show off. Bands that you love. Bands you go see every time they play a show near you. Bands you know every word to every song they've ever written. For me, The Gaslight Anthem, The Clash, Bad Religion, The Get Up Kids and The Lawrence Arms fall under that umbrella. Then there are bands that you really like, but you've kind of stopped listening to them over time. Maybe you outgrew them, or maybe they outgrew you. For me, that's bands like New Found Glory, NoFx, Green Day, Against Me!, and Saves The Day. There are those bands you love to name-drop to build your "cred," like Jawbreaker, Descendents, Cobra Skulls, The Menzingers, Bruce Springsteen and Neil Young. Then you have your impartial bands (Dillinger Four and The Black Keys) that you'll listen to, but won't go out of your way for, and your indifferent bands (Silversun Pickups, Arctic Monkeys) that you don't listen to, but don't dislike either. Then there are those guilty pleasures, like Taylor Swift and the All-American Rejects; bands you don't like, like All Time Low and Ke$ha (note: feel free to substitute "artist" or "pop-star" for "band" at any time); bands like Nickelback and Journey that you loathe, and bands like Brokencyde and Cobra Starship that you believe the ninth circle of hell is reserved for.

Then there's that band that you hate to like. That one that surpasses even the guiltiest of pleasures.

That band (again, see: band = artist or pop star) for me is Katy Perry.

Katy Perry is mindless pop garbage. She has songs called "U R So Gay," "Hot 'n' Cold," and "California Gurls." Her most well-known song is called "I Kissed a Girl," and includes lyrics like "I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick. " For the most part her music is no different then most of the mindless pop dribble that gets sent across the airwaves and played on... wait, MTV doesn't play music anymore, right? So what is it now, Fuse? Or do kids just watch everything on YouTube these days? Man I'm out of the loop. But you get what I'm trying to say. Just repetitive pop-music.

An ex-girlfriend of mine used to defend Lady Gaga's "unique-ness," while absolutely bashing Katy Perry. As I would tell her, I saw no real difference between the two. Both are trying their hardest to ripoff Madonna. Both made bizarre fashion choices. Both record under fake names (what, you mean "Lady Gaga" isn't her real name?). Both make crazy music videos. And Both make repetitive, club-friendly pop music. The one real difference I saw with Katy Perry and Lady Gaga (much to the disappointment of my ex) was that while Gaga's repulsive and needed to create this transsexual drag-queen persona in order to sell records, Perry is extremely hot. She looks like a slutty, bigger breasted version of Zooey Deschanel, and what's not to love about that? And to be honest, part of my liking of Katy Perry has to do with her attraction.

Unfortunately, that's not it.

"Hot 'N' Cold" is probably the biggest "guilty pleasure" song you'll find on my iPod. It's probably my favorite "have a few drinks and start dancing/singing like an idiot" song. Actually, you'll find Perry's entire "One of the Boys" album on my iPod. While most of the album ranges from "meh" to "ugh," (and probably needs to be removed all together) there are some somewhat-decent gems. "Thinking of You" and "Waking Up in Vegas" showcase Perry's vocal talents (don't kid yourself. Perry has an excellent voice. She don't need no auto-tone, and double-negatives are lovely). And "Fingerprints" is actually kind of a fun, what Cindy Lauper would sound like if she made music in 2010 and not 1985 track.

But that's not why I'm writing this blog.

Yesterday my friend Armando posted a video that shows how Ke$ha's bullshit "Tik Tok" song and Perry's "California Gurls" (feat. Snoop Dogg) are the same song. I had no idea what "California Gurls" was, and decided to look up the video. Two hours went by and I was still listening to the song and watching the video. I was talking to my friend Meghan and I told her that "as much as I want to, I can't stop listening to this song and watching the video. The video is absolutely ridiculous. It's essentially a half-naked Katy Perry (which is, according to Meghan, why I couldn't stop watching the video...and she could be right) strolling through a creepy, brought to life version of the board game "Candyland." The song does indeed sound like that terrible Ke$ha song, which drives me crazy. However it's ("California Gurls," not "Tik Tok." Don't get me started on that song. We'll be here for hours.) as addicting and sugary sweet as the candy Perry wears on her dress, which leads to not to being able to turn it off.


And here's where musically there's a difference between Gaga and Perry. While Gaga's tracks are catchy, they enter and leave my head fairly quickly. Sure, that "Pokerface" song or that "Bad Romance" one gets stuck in my head from time to time, but I usually forget about it. Not with Perry. Last night I had a totally non-sexual dream that involved a "California Gurls" looking Perry and could not for the life of me get that song out of my head today. I didn't even listen to music today. I couldn't. The only song I could hear all day was that "California Gurls" song in my head. And the more I "heard" it, the more I liked it. The lyrics are terrible. The point of the song is...well, pointless (from what I've gathered, it's a response to the terrific Jay-Z and Alicia Keys track "Empire State of Mind" yet hardly makes any mention of California outside of the girls that will "melt your popsicle," whatever that means), and Snoop Dogg's part is laughable. Yet I absolutely love it. I can't get enough of it. All day I walked around saying "daisy dukes; bikini's on top." Why? I have no idea. What I do know is that on my lunch I pulled the video up on YouTube so I could listen to the song. Jesus.

I hate that I can't stop listening to "California Gurls." But what can I say. I like what I like.